i keep coming here to write, and never knowing what i need to put down. sometimes i write, and i get out the emotion inside me, and i feel relieved, but it's then too personal to publish.
and i want to write and feel the satisfaction of publishing.
my life the last few weeks has been.... all over. back and forth. back a forth. my emotions are a wreck. time is a blur. sometimes i feel like each day goes too fast, and then i look back at the week and and i'm sure someone crammed in 5 extra days to throw me off as a joke.
sometimes it's hard to talk about everything with someone, because when i say the words, i feel committed to them. that because i said i feel a certain way, i suddenly have to always feel that way. but in reality, i feel like things can shift from day to day. hour to hour. i don't even always have the words to say what i'm experiencing.
everything feels more and more unpredictable. the world is unpredictable. i'm unpredictable.
i think that is part of what is more frustrating. that i can't predict myself anymore.
but overall, things are so good. i am such a blessed woman.
i have a job, and income is always a good thing.
i get to be with my family for the holidays. that is a huge blessing, and makes me happier than i can describe.
my friends are the coolest. they do cool things like carol to me at work, and let me know when they miss me.
it's Christmas time, and i can't think of a happier time of year. i love the music, and the giving, joyful feeling that fills the air. i love the presents under the tree, and the baking my mother does. (you can't really say no to unlimited cookies and goodies and homemade caramels and meals you don't have to make...). i love the lights, and especially the reason for the season. #sharethegift
"i am an optimist! i do see the glass as half full. it's just that it's full of eggnog...which i hate."
-a woman quoting her husband at church
No comments:
Post a Comment