this is going to be a whiny rant

so feel free to back out now, before i begin the ramble of what is in my head.
i promise i won't be mad



i've learned that sometimes things work out how you want.
they always work out how they're supposed to

but that doesn't mean it's going to be easy
in fact, that probably means it's going to be hard

i really hope crying is okay
cause i've needed to all day

i'm grateful for friends shoulders

it's just rough when you think everything is going great
and then all of a sudden
it's not

and you're not sure why

you know it's likely not directly your fault
but it feels like it

so that giant confidence boost from a couple weeks ago?
gonna take a little bit to gain completely back

and it's not his fault.
that's the problem

he didn't do anything wrong really
but i still simultaneously want to slap some sense into him, run away, and also be with him all the time

i can take the hint...
i just don't want to

also, have you ever done something you even remotely regret.
just a tiny bit?
but you can't help but wonder if if you would regret it more if you hadn't have done it?
it's hard to tell which would be worse- doing it, or having not...

i need a vacation
and i'm swearing off boys for a little while