Sunday, February 19, 2012

the movies are ruined for me now

i've learned a lot about myself this past week.
you know those questions about how you'll react in a certain situation?
and you think you know yourself well enough that you know how you'll react?

likely, you don't.
not until you actually get thrown into the situation and begin to act instinctively do you truly begin to learn something about yourself.
i was all wrong.
and that's okay.


it seems so perfect when it's up on the big screen and has mood music playing.
when every line is scripted out for the situation to work out how it's supposed to.
when the scene can just end so that the horribly awkward moment in which people in real life actually have to face, can just be avoided with out consequence.
when a lot of actions are taken without consequence.

i'm learning that it doesn't work that way at all.
this chick-flick fantasy that i have built up in me head, isn't going to pan out quite like that.
it might have bits and pieces, but if i don't react properly (which i won't of course),
or if i don't have mood music constantly playing on my ipod (which i don't)
then i'll actually have to live a real life version of my fairy tale.

where there are awkward moments.
you have to do things you don't really want to.
sometimes you have to say no.
and a lot of times things don't work out quite how you want.

and that's okay.

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