Just a little Valentines Love

Well, I still think that Valentines is a bit of an odd holiday. Super exciting for those that have lovers. And a little not-as-exciting for those that don't. 

But regardless, love is in the air, and I wanted to celebrate :)

Not

You are not your age,
Nor the size of clothes you wear,
You are not a weight,
Or the color of your hair.
You are not your name,
Or the dimples in your cheeks,
You are all the books you read,
And all the words you speak,
You are your croaky morning voice,
And the smiles you try to hide,
You're the sweetness in your laughter,
And every tear you've cried,
You're the songs you sing so loudly,
When you know you're all alone,
You're the places that you've been to,
And the one that you call home,
You're the things that you believe in,
And the people that you love,
You're the photos in your bedroom,
And the future you dream of,
You're made of so much beauty,
But it seems that you forgot,
When you decided that you were defined,
By all the things you're not.

--by Erin Hansen

smile to survive

Smiling creates a positive chemical reaction within your body.

When you smile you feel better. You look more attractive. You relieve stress. 

When you smile people want to be around you. You automatically are happier.

Bottom line, smiling is a good idea, and it's not meant for only when you feel happy. Sometimes it's a good idea to smile when you're not happy so that you can feel happier. 

Like for example when life is really hard, and people are aggravating. And when you have a lot on your plate and you're stressed, sure you're going to pull out all of your hair. And when it's cold outside and you've fallen on the ice, and you have a headache and friends are struggling and you had a terrible-horrible-no-good-very-bad-day. You name it. Life sometimes likes to throw a lot at us. 

But when you smile things just feel better. 

Try it. I dare you. 

And on that note, you will be able to find me at the gym, on an elliptical, smiling like an idiot...

Learning to Trust Him

sometimes you have to learn to trust you Father in Heaven.

actually, all the time.

because sometimes, things are really hard. and sometimes you want to give up. and sometimes you want to throw a little pity party and eat all of the chocolate and mope around for a while and just be angry. because that's easier, and it feels like it will make you feel better. And sometimes you think that you know what you want. and because you think you know what you want, you make plans. and sometimes (usually) those plans fail. epically. and it's not pretty.




and then sometimes, you remember that your Heavenly Father loves you. and no, he didn't abandon you. He just let you make some mistakes because He loves you. He said that it was okay for you to throw a little temper tantrum for a while, and eat all of the chocolate, because He knew that you would be okay, and that you would come out stronger. Sometimes He has to remind you that you, indeed, are not in charge. And sometimes though He has to remind you that He is in charge, and that you were doing it all wrong, He still loves you. And He still wants the best for you.

Sometimes He sends you daily reminders that you are not forgotten. He sends you some incredible people in your life that make you smile, and lift you up, and help you be the best person you can be. Sometimes He sends you messages from old friends reminding you that you are loved and missed. Sometimes He helps give you the strength you need, or clearer answers to prayers, or good weather, or chocolate from someone you love, or a smile, or relief, or someone to talk to. Sometimes he gives you the opportunity to serve, or to be served, or a really good scripture study. He gives clarity and peace.

And when all of that finally comes, you forget to be mad that he waited so long to help you. because in reality, He was only waiting for you.

Waiting for you to learn, and grow, and come to Him.

i think about you sometimes and smile

My Dearest Future Husband,

I've been thinking about you again lately. I hope that you are doing alright.
I hope that you are safe, and happy.
And if things are hard, i'm rooting for you to come out on top!

I've been dong a lot of learning in the last little while. I keep reminding myself that all the hard is going to be so worth it one day, when you are just 'husband', and not 'future husband'. I hope you remember that too. One day I will be 'wife' and not just 'future wife', and i will love you, and you will love me. and we will look back at this time in our lives, and wonder how we ever did it. and be glad that we went through what we did, to get us to where we are, but not wish to do it again.
that will be happy.

so anyways, i just wanted you to know that you inspire me. your hard work that i know you are doing. and your perseverance to choose the right, and to make sure that we find each other one day. even though i don't know who you are yet, you keep me going and make me want to be a better person.
so thank you.

love,
your future wife

ps- i pray for you